AI, Mental Health, and Our Kids: What Parents of Teens and Young Adults Need to Know

A Conversation with Jackie Ourman, LMHC

Hosted by Dr. Rebecca Kason, PsyD, Founder and Executive Director of SageMind Psychology

The New Parenting Question No One Saw Coming

Parents today are navigating challenges that previous generations never had to consider. Alongside social media, smartphones, and constant digital connectivity, artificial intelligence is rapidly becoming part of how teens and young adults learn, solve problems, seek advice, and even process emotions.

At SageMind Psychology, we help children, adolescents, young adults, and families build the emotional resilience, executive functioning skills, and healthy relationships needed to thrive in an increasingly complex world. Through our work providing evidence-based therapy, DBT-informed treatment, and parent support, we often hear a variation of the same question:

How do we help young people embrace new technology without losing the human connections that support emotional wellbeing?

As AI becomes a growing presence in the lives of adolescents and young adults, that question feels more important than ever.

To explore this evolving landscape, I spoke with Jackie Ourman, LMHC, founder of the Social Connection Collective, executive coach, and founding member of the AI Mental Health Collective. Her work focuses on attachment, relationships, and the ways emerging technologies are shaping human connection.

What followed was a thoughtful discussion about healthy AI use, emotional development, and what parents should be paying attention to—not from a place of fear, but from a place of curiosity and connection.

Rebecca:

Jackie, I want to start with something I hear from parents frequently in my practice. They know their teenager is using AI, but they are not sure whether what they are seeing is normal or something to pay attention to. What would you say to that parent?

Jackie:

I would say that uncertainty is actually a reasonable place to be, and it does not mean something is wrong.

Most young people are using AI in pretty ordinary ways—for schoolwork, productivity, creative projects, and everyday problem-solving. Research from The Rithm Project supports this. Their recent study of nearly 2,400 young people ages 13–24 found that the largest group uses AI primarily as a practical tool while keeping human relationships at the center of their lives. That group also demonstrated the strongest mental health outcomes.

So the starting point is not alarm. It's curiosity.

What is my child actually using AI for, and how does it fit into the rest of their life?

Rebecca:

That distinction matters. In clinical work, context is everything. Can you say more about what you mean by how AI fits into the rest of their life?

Jackie:

The question I keep coming back to is whether AI is functioning as a bridge or a substitute.

Is it helping a young person think something through before they bring it to another person, or is it replacing that step entirely?

A teenager who uses AI to organize their thoughts before a difficult conversation, or to process something they are not quite ready to discuss yet, may be using it in a genuinely helpful way. The concern is when AI consistently becomes the destination rather than a stepping stone.

When a young person turns to AI instead of toward a person—not just once, but as a pattern—that is worth paying attention to.

Rebecca:

From an emotional regulation standpoint, I think about this a lot. AI removes the friction of human interaction in a way that can feel regulating in the moment but may not be building the skills we actually want young people to develop. Does that match what you're seeing?

Jackie:

Exactly.

This is especially important for parents of adolescents and young adults to understand. The teenage years and early adulthood are when we develop our relational repertoire—the ability to be vulnerable, tolerate discomfort, navigate conflict, and repair relationships.

Those skills only develop through practice.

They emerge through the messy, imperfect, sometimes uncomfortable experience of being in relationship with real people.

AI is responsive, consistent, and never overwhelmed by what you bring to it. For a young person who finds relationships emotionally risky, that can feel like safety.

But safety without reciprocity is not the same as secure connection.

Over time, it can actually narrow a person's tolerance for the very experiences that make intimacy possible.

Rebecca:

I want to ask about the young adult piece specifically because many parents feel less certain about their role once their child is in college or beyond. How should parents think about this differently when their child is 18, 20, or 22?

Jackie:

The parenting role shifts, but it does not disappear.

With younger teenagers, parents have more direct influence over structure and limits. With young adults, the most powerful thing a parent can do is stay in authentic relationship with them.

One of the most compelling findings from The Rithm Project is that the strongest protective factor against unhealthy AI use is not the number of relationships a young person has. It is whether they have at least one relationship where they feel truly safe to be themselves.

For many young adults, that person is—or could be—a parent.

Not because parents have all the answers, but because they communicate something essential: You are not alone.

So for parents of older teens and young adults, the focus becomes less about monitoring and more about connection.

Does your child know they can come to you?

Do they experience your curiosity more than your judgment?

Those qualities are protective in ways that no technology restriction ever will be.

Rebecca:

That resonates with a lot of what we talk about in DBT therapy at SageMind. Validation comes before change. You cannot help someone build skills if they do not first feel understood.

What does that look like practically for parents trying to start this conversation?

Jackie:

It starts with questions rather than concerns.

Many parents feel they need to become experts on AI before discussing it. They don't.

In fact, approaching the conversation with genuine curiosity is often far more effective than approaching it with expertise.

Some questions that tend to open doors rather than close them:

"Do you ever use AI for things beyond school? What does that look like?"
"Have you ever talked to AI about something that was bothering you?"
"Is there anything you find easier to say to AI than to another person?"
"If something was really weighing on you and you weren't sure who to go to, who would you turn to?"

That last question is particularly important.

It is not really about AI at all.

It is about whether your child has a felt sense of where they can turn when life gets difficult.

Rebecca:

When should parents consider bringing in professional support?

Jackie:

A few signs are worth paying attention to:

Persistent withdrawal from meaningful relationships
Describing AI as a primary source of emotional support
Significant distress when AI access is unavailable
Sharing deeply personal struggles with AI while refusing all human support
Appearing socially active but emotionally disconnected from others

That last one is often the easiest to miss.

A young person can have friends, activities, and a full schedule while still feeling profoundly unseen.

None of these signs automatically indicate a problem. But when several appear together—or when your instincts tell you something is off—it is worth paying attention.

Earlier support is almost always more effective than later support.

Working with a therapist who understands adolescent development, emotional regulation, relationships, and the role technology plays in modern life can help families understand what is really happening beneath the surface.

Through services such as adolescent therapy, executive functioning support, and parent coaching, families can strengthen communication, connection, and resilience before concerns become crises.

Rebecca:

Last question. For a teenager or young adult reading this who recognizes some of what we've discussed in themselves, what would you want them to know?

Jackie:

I would want them to know that the things they are looking for when they turn to AI—to feel understood, supported, less alone, or free from judgment—are completely human needs.

There is nothing wrong with those needs.

One of the most common things I hear from people who use AI for emotional support is that they do not want to burden other people.

I want to gently challenge that idea.

Think about the last time someone trusted you enough to share something difficult.

Did it feel like a burden?

Or did it feel meaningful?

Most of us dramatically underestimate how much people want to matter to one another.

Allowing someone to show up for you does not just help you. It gives the relationship somewhere to go.

AI will never feel burdened by you.

But it will also never feel honored by your trust.

That distinction matters more than it may seem.

If there is one thing worth trying, it is this:

Tell someone one true thing about how you are actually doing.

Not the edited version.

See what happens.

That is often where real connection begins.

Supporting Connection in a Digital World

While AI continues to evolve, one truth remains unchanged: young people thrive when they feel seen, understood, and connected.

Technology can offer convenience, information, and moments of reflection. But emotional resilience, healthy identity development, and secure attachment are still built through human relationships.

The conversation around AI and mental health is not ultimately about technology. It is about connection.

At SageMind Psychology, we help children, adolescents, young adults, and families strengthen emotional wellbeing through evidence-based therapy, executive functioning support, DBT-informed treatment, and parent guidance. Whether you are navigating concerns about technology, anxiety, emotional regulation, relationships, or life transitions, our team is committed to helping young people develop the skills they need to thrive.

Learn More

About Jackie Ourman, LMHC

Jackie Ourman is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and executive coach based in New York City. She is the founder of the Social Connection Collective and a founding member of the AI Mental Health Collective.

Her clinical work at Values Aligned Therapy focuses on relationships, attachment, connection, and helping individuals better understand the patterns that shape how they show up in their lives and relationships.